I’m tired of feeling crappy & shitty every single damned day! It seems like everytime I have a good day, it’s followed by three or four really sucky days. I had a pretty good morning today, I was up early, felt reasonably good & took my son out for a bit. On the way home, it started. First it was my upper back, then my hips & finally my legs joined the Fibro party. On top of it, the IBS has kicked in and my tummy is having a conversation with itself.
This is one of the things about Fibro that really frustrates me. I wanted to do so much today…grocery shopping, visit my friend Heather & clean the bathroom. Well, it doesn’t look like I’m going to be doing any of that now. I’m struggling to even have the energy to type this (so pardon any bloopers that may show up). I know my kids & mother get frustrated when I’m like this. I just wanna curl up in a ball & cry myself to sleep (if I could actually sleep instead of just laying there wishing I could).
I love my friends & truly appreciate all of the caring and love that they show me, but there are days when I feel like if one more person asks me “Are you doing OK???” that I just want to shout back…”You want an honest answer, OK then. I'm not OK and I haven't been for a long time and don’t think I’m gonna be…ever”. But I know that would hurt them and I don’t want that so I usually just smile & say that I’m fine. Yep, I’m a bitch, but I do love my friends LOL I know that I’m kind of all over the place today (you can blame the Fibro Fog) and a just a wee bit whiny…sorry.
Life gave me lemons - tried to make lemonade - cut my finger with the knife, got juice in my eye, sugar spilled and broke the pitcher – Fuckin’ lemons!!
Oh, here’s a pic of my new haircut. I love it!!!
Oh that is a great pic!!!
ReplyDeleteVGH, my friend. By the way -- don't ever tell me you're ok when you're not. I appreciate that you want to be strong, and you think saying just how crappy you feel will hurt me, but I don't want that from you. I want the truth - I want to be able to commiserate on the bad days, and offer a shoulder (ok, the left one only, but still! a shoulder!), and be glad for you, and celebrate the better days. That's my idea of my friendship.
This has not been a good week for either of us, has it? I tried to work a few hours this morning, but that did not go well. I'm feeling very glad I still have 2 days to recover. frack
Ok, Elf-Queen, I'm here if you need anything!
ILY