My eyes finally got so red and irritated that I broke down & called my ophthalmologist who proceeded to scare the shit out of me. What finally broke the camel's back was that my right eye was very blurry when I got up on Friday and didn't get any better after I had my 2nd cup of coffee ;o) So when I called & explained what was happening, they told me that because I'm diabetic I needed to be seen asap because it sounded very serious. YIKES!!! Freaked me the hell out!!! So I went & found out that I have some kind of strange bacterial infection in both eyes. WTH! It's something that could only happen to me LOL.
I'm on antibiotic eye drops for 14 days now (they're milky & gross). I hate putting eye drops in, I usually manage to get them on my forehead, cheeks, temples...anywhere but actually in my eye. YUCK. What next, I wonder?!
Well...at least he said my inner eye is nice & clear (beautiful he actually said LOL) so no glaucoma or other creepy eye stuff.
OH, OH, OH!!! I'm so excited I almost forgot...one of my BFF's is engaged!!! I'm so damned happy for her & it's nice to see that "glow" on her face.
My wish for you:
May the birds of paradise shit on the cornflakes of the next person who pisses you off-fa-fa!!!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Fibro-Fizzle
I swear some days my brain turns to mush. Not the normal mush like mashed potatoes or pudding, but the grey, lumpy, watery, icky mush that just kind of sits there. I've been sitting here in front of my computer for a half hour trying to think of what I wanted to write and truthfully...nothing...absolutely nothing. I'm blank today.
It's been an OK week, although I over-did it a little bit yesterday. Drove some friends home when their car broke down in the morning, came home picked up my son & the broken cable box, drove to the cable company to switch the box, went to the movies (more on that later), grocery store, helped Harley cook dinner (again, more later) then went & met another friend for coffee. I think I spent the entire damned day in the car. It was great seeing my friends & spending time with Harley but I'm paying for it today. My legs, neck and arms are on fire!! It's like Fibro smacks you in the face for having a good day. *SIGH* it's bullshit!
Harley & I went to see Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio...the end's a total mind fuck! LOL Go see it!
I did get a break from cooking dinner 2 days in a row. Christopher cooked chicken, garlic pasta & made a salad (which was great, although he cried & gagged while eating it LOL) on Tuesday. Yesterday, Harley made homemade Mac & Cheese and Dirt Cups...YUMM. They both did really good & I'm proud of them for making the effort. ;o)
My mom's in a funk again, so that's a little stressful. Don't know exactly what's going on with her right now. She worries me...A LOT.
On the Fibro front, the new meds aren't really making a hill of freakin beans of difference so far. What I'd really like is a vicodin the size of a Fava bean! I need a damned break from the pain & insomnia before I go completely & utterly insane. I see the doc next Wednesday, so hopefully he can do something.
Here's your thought for the day:
If vibrators could light the BBQ & kill spiders in the bathtub, would we really need men at all??
Luv ya everyone!
It's been an OK week, although I over-did it a little bit yesterday. Drove some friends home when their car broke down in the morning, came home picked up my son & the broken cable box, drove to the cable company to switch the box, went to the movies (more on that later), grocery store, helped Harley cook dinner (again, more later) then went & met another friend for coffee. I think I spent the entire damned day in the car. It was great seeing my friends & spending time with Harley but I'm paying for it today. My legs, neck and arms are on fire!! It's like Fibro smacks you in the face for having a good day. *SIGH* it's bullshit!
Harley & I went to see Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio...the end's a total mind fuck! LOL Go see it!
I did get a break from cooking dinner 2 days in a row. Christopher cooked chicken, garlic pasta & made a salad (which was great, although he cried & gagged while eating it LOL) on Tuesday. Yesterday, Harley made homemade Mac & Cheese and Dirt Cups...YUMM. They both did really good & I'm proud of them for making the effort. ;o)
My mom's in a funk again, so that's a little stressful. Don't know exactly what's going on with her right now. She worries me...A LOT.
On the Fibro front, the new meds aren't really making a hill of freakin beans of difference so far. What I'd really like is a vicodin the size of a Fava bean! I need a damned break from the pain & insomnia before I go completely & utterly insane. I see the doc next Wednesday, so hopefully he can do something.
Here's your thought for the day:
If vibrators could light the BBQ & kill spiders in the bathtub, would we really need men at all??
Luv ya everyone!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Doan wanna...
BIG SIGH...I don't want to go to work. It feels like a thousand pound balloon is trying to explode inside my head and my eyes are still red & blurry. I have a billion things to do at work, thing I like doing actually, if I can just get my head to stop pounding like an African drum!!! I really, really wish that the fucking weather would just level out for a while. All of the wild fluctuations, wickedly high humidity & thunderstorms are playing havoc with the Fibro and makes for a very bitchy Jeannie. It's def gonna be a multi-coffee kind of day.
On a good note, my ROUS' (Rodents of Unusual Size...aka, my teenage boys) have been getting along GREAT and that makes me freaking ecstatic!!! And props to my mom for putting together and hanging the new shelf in the bathroom! That was a H-U-G-E breakthrough for her (she's a little intimidated by construction LOL). Now if only we could make a breakthrough with the boys that there is NOT a toilet paper changing faerie ;o)
Well, I'm off to the demonic realm that holds my paycheck hostage (insert snorting giggles here).
On a good note, my ROUS' (Rodents of Unusual Size...aka, my teenage boys) have been getting along GREAT and that makes me freaking ecstatic!!! And props to my mom for putting together and hanging the new shelf in the bathroom! That was a H-U-G-E breakthrough for her (she's a little intimidated by construction LOL). Now if only we could make a breakthrough with the boys that there is NOT a toilet paper changing faerie ;o)
Well, I'm off to the demonic realm that holds my paycheck hostage (insert snorting giggles here).
Sunday, July 18, 2010
In The Wee Hours...
UGH! I've been trying to sleep for hours now and it's just no use! My body's saying "Yaaawwwwnnn" but my mind is saying "YIPEE!!!" Well crap! These are the moments that make living with Fibro suck a royal one!
My dogs even crapped out on me tonight and are laying there dreaming about hot little poodles ;o)
For anyone who's interested, here's a pic of my dogs (Yawkey & Brady).
My dogs even crapped out on me tonight and are laying there dreaming about hot little poodles ;o)
For anyone who's interested, here's a pic of my dogs (Yawkey & Brady).
Sunday Night Musings
I have a love/hate relationship with Sunday nights. I like that my kids are home with me, but I hate that I have to go to work tomorrow morning. It's not that I hate my job, I like what I do. The stress and the pain that comes with going into the office is what gets me. Between the wild temperature fluctuations during the day (it's hot in the morning, cold in the early afternoon, hot again in the later afternoon), the pain that sitting at my work computer causes & having to pretend that everything's all sunshiny and rosy just makes for a very long workweek. I am lucky to have a couple of really good friends there that are super supportive and are among the few that I don't have to pretend with. Thank GOD for them!!!
The weekend has been pretty good. Friday night I spent some quality time with my son watching The Iron Giant (mmmm, Robert Downey Jr is HOT). I hung out with my friends, Peanut & Gwendy on Saturday night. We had a ball trash-talking, cooking & eating yummy munchies. It's always fun to hang with my girls ;o)
Not much new on the Fibro front today. Pretty much more of the same old/same old. Well...maybe one new thing that I have to ask the doc about. My hands keep swelling up, getting really red & itchy beyond belief and I keep breaking out in hives. Never happened before and I haven't changed anything...using the same detergents, soap, etc. SIGH...
My thought for the day:
Alarm Clock: An EVIL device created by Satan!
The weekend has been pretty good. Friday night I spent some quality time with my son watching The Iron Giant (mmmm, Robert Downey Jr is HOT). I hung out with my friends, Peanut & Gwendy on Saturday night. We had a ball trash-talking, cooking & eating yummy munchies. It's always fun to hang with my girls ;o)
Not much new on the Fibro front today. Pretty much more of the same old/same old. Well...maybe one new thing that I have to ask the doc about. My hands keep swelling up, getting really red & itchy beyond belief and I keep breaking out in hives. Never happened before and I haven't changed anything...using the same detergents, soap, etc. SIGH...
My thought for the day:
Alarm Clock: An EVIL device created by Satan!
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Sweet Sound of Friday!
Yayyyyy!!! It's Friday! Of course, it's a little tarnished listening to one of my kids bitch about the dogs...AGAIN. SIGH
It's been a long week that I'm not sad to see the backside of. The fibro really kicked my butt this week, especially after the doctor's appointment and I swear everyone in my house is PMS-ing!!! Gaaaahhhhhh!!! Makes me wanna run away to Jamaica, change my name to Juanita,put on a Sombrero & sell shell necklaces to the tourists. The pain makes me want to shut everyone up with a rusty spoon, though, so I have to remember to take deep breaths LOL!
I really, really, really don't like the fatigue that I have pretty much every day. It's like someone's tied weights on to all of my extremities & made me run 5 miles. It's so frustrating to want to do things & not be able to. I find it very strange and annoying that I'm so extremely tired, but can't seem to find that mythical place called "Sleep". I've tried everything...
Counting Sheep...they finally ran away.
Warm milk...made me want to puke.
Reading a book...gave me a headache.
TV on...eyes keep popping open to make sure that the Shamwow guy hasn't come on (eww)
TV off...Keep wondering if I'm missing the GT Express 101 Commercial
It's an endless cycle.
.★´*。.☆¨¯`*★。。☆.★´*。.☆¨¯`*★。。☆
Through adversity there is redemption
With passion, fighting, I am unbroken!!
Killswitch Engage (from Unbroken)
.★´*。.☆¨¯`*★。。☆.★´*。.☆¨¯`*★。。☆
It's been a long week that I'm not sad to see the backside of. The fibro really kicked my butt this week, especially after the doctor's appointment and I swear everyone in my house is PMS-ing!!! Gaaaahhhhhh!!! Makes me wanna run away to Jamaica, change my name to Juanita,put on a Sombrero & sell shell necklaces to the tourists. The pain makes me want to shut everyone up with a rusty spoon, though, so I have to remember to take deep breaths LOL!
I really, really, really don't like the fatigue that I have pretty much every day. It's like someone's tied weights on to all of my extremities & made me run 5 miles. It's so frustrating to want to do things & not be able to. I find it very strange and annoying that I'm so extremely tired, but can't seem to find that mythical place called "Sleep". I've tried everything...
Counting Sheep...they finally ran away.
Warm milk...made me want to puke.
Reading a book...gave me a headache.
TV on...eyes keep popping open to make sure that the Shamwow guy hasn't come on (eww)
TV off...Keep wondering if I'm missing the GT Express 101 Commercial
It's an endless cycle.
.★´*。.☆¨¯`*★。。☆.★´*。.☆¨¯`*★。。☆
Through adversity there is redemption
With passion, fighting, I am unbroken!!
Killswitch Engage (from Unbroken)
.★´*。.☆¨¯`*★。。☆.★´*。.☆¨¯`*★。。☆
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A New Hope...
Today's doctor visit went pretty well. He asked tons of questions and answered tons of questions from my mom ;o) The "poke" test was AWFUL. For anyone with Fibro, you're probably well aware of the torture of that particular test. For those that don't know, the doctor applies strong pressure to 18 specific tender points on your body, including your chest, neck, shoulders, lower back, mid back, knees & elbows, etc. I tested positive on all 18...some worse than others. Needless to say, I flinched, screeched, swore & cried...UGH!
But, he did confirm that my case of fibro is pretty bad. He also told me something new...they used to think that the fatigue (CFS) worsened the Fibro and caused a lot of the pain. They now believe it's the opposite...the Fibro is the root cause of the CFS and if you treat the pain, the fatigue will lessen. I really liked him. He kind of reminded me physically of Mel Torme' or a munchkin from The Wizard of Oz. He has a great sense of humor (which I truly appreciate) and was honest and caring. All things this chick appreciates!
The unfortunate thing, is that the "poke" test has set off some serious kick-ass pain. I can barely move now and it just seems to be getting worse as the evening progresses. I can't lay comfortably in my bed...I can't be comfy in any position. He put me on a new med (Cymbalta) & took me off of some, too (YAYY).
I go back to Dr. Papernick in three weeks for a follow up. I'm really looking forward to getting my treatment kicked into high gear.
Oh yeah...THANK YOU and a big MWAHHHHH to all of my friends (RW & FB) for their support and love. My special thanks to Peanut for always being there and never doubting my pain. I love you all more than I can ever say!!!
Word of the Day!
Shananigator: (N) A person who instigates shananigans
But, he did confirm that my case of fibro is pretty bad. He also told me something new...they used to think that the fatigue (CFS) worsened the Fibro and caused a lot of the pain. They now believe it's the opposite...the Fibro is the root cause of the CFS and if you treat the pain, the fatigue will lessen. I really liked him. He kind of reminded me physically of Mel Torme' or a munchkin from The Wizard of Oz. He has a great sense of humor (which I truly appreciate) and was honest and caring. All things this chick appreciates!
The unfortunate thing, is that the "poke" test has set off some serious kick-ass pain. I can barely move now and it just seems to be getting worse as the evening progresses. I can't lay comfortably in my bed...I can't be comfy in any position. He put me on a new med (Cymbalta) & took me off of some, too (YAYY).
I go back to Dr. Papernick in three weeks for a follow up. I'm really looking forward to getting my treatment kicked into high gear.
Oh yeah...THANK YOU and a big MWAHHHHH to all of my friends (RW & FB) for their support and love. My special thanks to Peanut for always being there and never doubting my pain. I love you all more than I can ever say!!!
Word of the Day!
Shananigator: (N) A person who instigates shananigans
Here we go again...
Well, I'm off to ANOTHER doctor's appointment. I feel a mix of excitement and trepidation...common feelings for Fibro warriors. Sometimes it seems that doctors are both the answer and the enemy. While I'm looking forward to new treatments & hopefully some measure of relief...I'm not looking forward to being poked & prodded and placed under a microscope (again). On top of it, it's raining...*SIGH* I've come to hate the rain...it magnifies the pain.
My mother decided that she should go with me to this appointment. Again, mixed feelings on my part. I'm glad that she's interested and wants to learn more and be supportive. On the other hand, she seems to feel like she's supposed to administer "tough love". I'm 39 fucking years old, for Mike's sake!!! I think I know when my body is telling me to cut the shit. I really don't need anybody coming at me like a Sunday morning TV evangelist preaching "name it & claim it". Don't get me wrong, I love my mom & appreciate everything she does, but I'm not a freakin' 10 year old with a splinter!!
If I'm up to it this afternoon, I'll post an update on how it went.
My mother decided that she should go with me to this appointment. Again, mixed feelings on my part. I'm glad that she's interested and wants to learn more and be supportive. On the other hand, she seems to feel like she's supposed to administer "tough love". I'm 39 fucking years old, for Mike's sake!!! I think I know when my body is telling me to cut the shit. I really don't need anybody coming at me like a Sunday morning TV evangelist preaching "name it & claim it". Don't get me wrong, I love my mom & appreciate everything she does, but I'm not a freakin' 10 year old with a splinter!!
If I'm up to it this afternoon, I'll post an update on how it went.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Pain, Pain, Go Away!!
Ok, Fibro sucks! Really sucks! Not just normal sucks…it freakin’ fucking sucks!!!
I’m tired of feeling crappy & shitty every single damned day! It seems like everytime I have a good day, it’s followed by three or four really sucky days. I had a pretty good morning today, I was up early, felt reasonably good & took my son out for a bit. On the way home, it started. First it was my upper back, then my hips & finally my legs joined the Fibro party. On top of it, the IBS has kicked in and my tummy is having a conversation with itself.
This is one of the things about Fibro that really frustrates me. I wanted to do so much today…grocery shopping, visit my friend Heather & clean the bathroom. Well, it doesn’t look like I’m going to be doing any of that now. I’m struggling to even have the energy to type this (so pardon any bloopers that may show up). I know my kids & mother get frustrated when I’m like this. I just wanna curl up in a ball & cry myself to sleep (if I could actually sleep instead of just laying there wishing I could).
I love my friends & truly appreciate all of the caring and love that they show me, but there are days when I feel like if one more person asks me “Are you doing OK???” that I just want to shout back…”You want an honest answer, OK then. I'm not OK and I haven't been for a long time and don’t think I’m gonna be…ever”. But I know that would hurt them and I don’t want that so I usually just smile & say that I’m fine. Yep, I’m a bitch, but I do love my friends LOL I know that I’m kind of all over the place today (you can blame the Fibro Fog) and a just a wee bit whiny…sorry.
Life gave me lemons - tried to make lemonade - cut my finger with the knife, got juice in my eye, sugar spilled and broke the pitcher – Fuckin’ lemons!!
Oh, here’s a pic of my new haircut. I love it!!!
I’m tired of feeling crappy & shitty every single damned day! It seems like everytime I have a good day, it’s followed by three or four really sucky days. I had a pretty good morning today, I was up early, felt reasonably good & took my son out for a bit. On the way home, it started. First it was my upper back, then my hips & finally my legs joined the Fibro party. On top of it, the IBS has kicked in and my tummy is having a conversation with itself.
This is one of the things about Fibro that really frustrates me. I wanted to do so much today…grocery shopping, visit my friend Heather & clean the bathroom. Well, it doesn’t look like I’m going to be doing any of that now. I’m struggling to even have the energy to type this (so pardon any bloopers that may show up). I know my kids & mother get frustrated when I’m like this. I just wanna curl up in a ball & cry myself to sleep (if I could actually sleep instead of just laying there wishing I could).
I love my friends & truly appreciate all of the caring and love that they show me, but there are days when I feel like if one more person asks me “Are you doing OK???” that I just want to shout back…”You want an honest answer, OK then. I'm not OK and I haven't been for a long time and don’t think I’m gonna be…ever”. But I know that would hurt them and I don’t want that so I usually just smile & say that I’m fine. Yep, I’m a bitch, but I do love my friends LOL I know that I’m kind of all over the place today (you can blame the Fibro Fog) and a just a wee bit whiny…sorry.
Life gave me lemons - tried to make lemonade - cut my finger with the knife, got juice in my eye, sugar spilled and broke the pitcher – Fuckin’ lemons!!
Oh, here’s a pic of my new haircut. I love it!!!
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